Coastline by SM Bateman

I never fucking seen the ocean. Heard sharks gone bite kids out by the ocean. Y’hear things going about your life. I heard them fags done run ‘round in the nude by the ocean. I don’t know how much I like the ocean.

They call me Sawny. They used to call me Sawnoff, as in A Real Sawnofabitch. Haw-haw. I live in a Special House out in the country. I been living here long as I could remember. I wear my overalls every day. You ever heard of a boy drown in water? I never seen the fucking ocean.

I got my nickname ‘cos one time I thought I was a beaver. A dam beaver, HAHAHAHAHA. I weren’t happy with the old caretakers, took no care of me! Haw. I never saw a fucker drive off so fast, I was howling madly!! I got my nickname ‘cos I done shaved down my buckteeth. I thought I was a beaver and I had nothing to chew. I chewed lots, I tell you. I chewed toys and chud. I chewed arms and legs. I done got hit for that one!! Smacked right on the head for hurting the other friends. Special House ain’t that cruel no more. When I went howling ‘bout the loving toucher, our old caretaker, gosh goodness. They reeled him outta here! Gosh sakes. God. Faggots. I never drowned a boy in water.

There’s one of us in here, he’s real normal-like. He’s not supposed to be here. I heard he shot the president and they had to trick him, they gone trick him thinking he’s stupid. That’s a good plan. Blowing up the United States of America gone get your justice served. They’re not allowed to eat flap-jacks none more. Else, they can’t march their slaves. Now, I ain’t never seen the ocean, doubt the world go down that far. That assassin boy, he’s called Jack’s Son. I don’t know Jack though. I ain’t never seen a baby. I couldn’t even point you to the ocean!

When I got done coughing up the water, they said they was sure I got killed dead. I heard they salted it and I’d get hungry and thirsted just for drinking the water. Just for drinking the water! Shipwrecked like a pansy, I got told I done chewed lots and lots to keep alive. I don’t know. I keep biting! I ain’t never seen a baby after that.

I ain’t never seen a fucking ocean or nothing else.



SM Bateman is dying. She tries to spend her time enjoying it.

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